


Sharp Teeth and Sharp Wit

by RaccoonSinQueen



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: And he makes up for it by being sweaty and cute, But not as bad as I usually write him, F/M, Underfell, Underfell Sans is a tiny bit of a jerk, reader is a nerd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-11 03:54:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11706282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaccoonSinQueen/pseuds/RaccoonSinQueen
Summary: You quite literally run into a pretty funny skeleton.





	Sharp Teeth and Sharp Wit

**Author's Note:**

> BIRTHDAY PRESENT FOR LETSALLBECALMCHAPS.TUMBLR.COM she's the nicest <3

This was it. This was the day you’ve been waiting for for  _ months. _

 

And you were  _ late! _

 

Earlier this year, you had been casually streaming the internet (as you always do) when you came upon a certain trailer that caught your eye...

 

ArachnaMan! One of your long time favorite superheros was getting a movie! And by one of your favorite directors, no less! You couldn’t have been more stoked! 

 

And so you prepared, watching every bit of information that came out about the movie, watching fantheories and others debunking said theories, rereading some of your favorite comics of the hero of spiders. To say you geeked out would’ve been a bit of an understatement, but who could blame you?

 

Finally, the day came where you could finally watch the masterpiece... and you were late, of course. Only you could manage to be tardy on a movie you were looking forward to for months. But, to be fair, you were pretty sure the universe was working against you on this one. Friends needed to be consoled, traffic was redirected a few too many times, and you  _ had _ to stop by the convenience store to pick up some snacks and drinks you “subtly” stowed away in you bag. Movie theatre snacks weren’t cheap.

 

So there you were, rushing to the movie theatre’s ticket booth like your mother had just called to tell you she was having a baby and you were the only one who could deliver it. Of course, when you reached it, the poor theatre employee looked like she was about to have a heart attack  _ for  _ you.

 

You almost fell onto the counter as you leaned your weight into it, your breath as heavy as lead. “-PANT PANT- One... -PANT- ... Ticket for ArachnaMan -PANT- please?” You swallowed, before wearily handing her a twenty.

 

“Uh...” The attendant’s eyes didn’t leave your withering form as she punched the numbers into her computer and printed the ticket. “Here. Should just be theatre nine.”

 

“-PANT- Thanks... Keep the change...” You said, regaining your breath, as you grabbed the ticket and ran inside.

 

Rushing past the concession stand, you looked back over the ticket.

 

“Okay, okay, I still got this. Ten minutes late, I probably just missed the previews. Theatre nine...” You looked at the ticket and the numbers above each theatre. “I should just have to take a right and-!!”

 

Before you knew it, you turned around and felt a shocking chill collapse down your shirt.

 

“Gah!” You instinctively brought your hands to your chest, trying to bring what little warmth you had left back onto your now sweet soda covered shirt.

 

“ay!” A low voice rumbled. “watch where ya goin’, princess!”

 

You looked up from your soaked clothes to see a... skeleton. Huh, not a very common type of monster, right? You would’ve question his edgy clothing style, Brooklyn accent, or even his crimson eyelights if you weren’t so off put by his strikingly sharp teeth. Man, those things were like shark teeth, they looked like they could tear a chunk out of your flesh! Maybe it was supposed to be threatening? You don’t know, it was kinda hard to see him as a threat when he was almost a head shorter than you...

 

“well, are ya just gonna stare all day er are ya gonna apologize?”

 

You snapped out of your daze, before you remembered you just rammed into this guy. “Oh, sorry! I was in a bit of a hurry! Here,” Before the short skeleton could gripe back at you anymore, you reached into your bag and pulled out a bottled soft drink. “This should make up for it?”

 

The skeleton took the bottle, looking at it quizzically, before those red eyelights traveled back up to you. It felt like he was reading you... it made you a bit uncomfortable. But soon, his scowl melted into a smooth, easygoing grin, taking a bit of the edge off of his edgy teeth.

 

“and so it has.” He simple mused, his eyelights scrolling your body once again. “where are you headed off ta, sweetcheeks?”

 

“Well, actually I was running a bit late...” You pointed to the theatres, absentmindedly. “I’m actually trying to find theatre nine, you wouldn’t happen to- ...”

 

When you looked back, you couldn’t help but notice the skeleton was staring straight at your chest. Honestly, you would’ve been a bit offended... if you hadn’t looked down and notice that the previously spilled soda was making your shirt see through. 

 

“Ack-!” You quickly covered your chest with your arms, your ears burning with embarrassment, something that only made the skeleton snicker. “I -uhm-... Where’s the bathroom?”

 

“right down the hall, take a left.”

 

“Thank you!” You called, before rushing towards his directions. Ah geez, another thing the universe put in your way to keep you from watching this movie. You began to wonder if maybe it was fate? Maybe this movie was actually really bad, and the universe was trying to save you from getting disappointed?

 

Well, maybe the universe needs to mind it’s own business.

 

When you reached the bathroom, you striped your shirt off and threw it under the sink. Might as well try and keep it from staining while you're here right? Luckily, the soda washed right out, and you were able to put it under the hand dryer to make it less transparent. After a little while though, you grew a bit impatient and began dabbing it with paper towels. 

 

There, it may have not been completely dry, but it was no longer showcasing your bra and that was all you needed. You threw it on, before looking at the time.

 

Okay, so now you were twenty minutes late. No big deal? You probably didn’t miss anything still? Like more previews??

 

You pushed your denial aside, and set out for theatre nine.

 

Goodnews, you were easily able to find it. Who knew, it was right next to theatre eight? Badnews, you walked in and  _ every seat was taken _ . Every. Seat. You had no idea the theatre would’ve filled up so fast! But how were you going to watch it if-!

 

Oh, there was a seat! In the back... right next to your favorite shark-teeth baring skeleton.

 

Well, let’s just hope this isn’t too awkward.

 

You shuffled your way past the large groups of people, almost tripping on a couple, before you took your seat in the back. There, the skeleton greeted you with a sly grin.

 

“a little late to the party, sweetcheeks.” He said, just below a whisper.

 

You shuffled around a bit, before you looked up to the screen. You breathed a sigh of relief. It had only just started.

 

“I didn’t miss much.” You smiled.

 

“yeah, i didn’t miss much, either.”

 

You turned to him, confused over what he meant, before the realization hit you as he threw you a wink. You immediately swiped your head back to the screen, melting into your seat and ignoring the way he was chuckling at your blush.

 

But your heated complexion began to cool as the movie continued on. The action scenes were amazing, and the characters were very real and believable! You could definitely see people like that who you knew in real life, which made it all the more fun! The effects were astounding, and the villain was actually very likable! You began to wish to see more of him... Until...

 

“oh no, it’s birdman.” You heard the monster beside you mutter under his breath. “look out, he might die of old age and fall on you.”

 

Okay, that was funny.

 

“PFFT-!!” You choked on your chocolate raisin, startling everyone around you as you coughed to clear your lungs. But by the end of it, you were almost shaking trying to keep in your laughter. When you looked beside you, the skeleton looked surprised by your sudden outburst, before a genuine smile plastered on his face.

 

“if i’m scared of anything, it’s that kid’s diabetes being contagious.”

 

“that’s the girl he likes? i’ve had more interesting conversations with styrofoam.”

 

“steelman reminds me of my dad, mostly nonpresent and a complete waste of an addition to this movie.”

 

The skeleton littered comments like these throughout the entire movie, just gauging to get a reaction out of you. And so he did, and you used every last bit of your willpower you had left to keep from busting out in roaring laughter. The comments were so funny, you had a hard time actually paying attention to the movie! And what was even worse was that because of your muffled laughter, the movie was ruined for the people around you and you were 90% sure they all hated you for it.

 

It was then when you realized what the universe was trying to protect you from. It was this skeleton and his awful humor. You should’ve just waited for the later showing.

 

By the time the movie was over, you weren’t even going to wait for the ending credit scene. You’d just look it up online like a pirate or something. 

 

When you finally made it out of the suffocating theatre, you busted out in laughter. “Pfft! Hahahaha! Oh my gosh!!”

 

The skeleton was quick behind your heels, leaning toward you with a half smirk-half genuine smile on his face. Huh, he didn’t want to stay for the ending scene either? “heheh... you liked the movie?”

 

“Haha! You are the  _ worst! _ ” You said, in between laughter. “Oh my gosh, and the one with ArachnaMan being-! Pssh!- Hahaha!”

 

“nerd had it comin’.” The monster shrugged, and you shoved him lightly.

 

“Oh my goodness, I can’t believe you  _ ruined _ that for me!” You opened the door to the exit, and he followed in step. “I have been waiting for that movie  _ for months _ , and now I can never look at it the same way again!”

 

“hey, i didn’t  _ ruin _ it!” He mocked being offended. “i just shed a more  _ comedic _ light on the movie.”

 

You laughed at his wit, which only made him light up more. “Ha! A more comedic light?”

 

He shrugged again, “what do ya expect from me?”

 

“An apology.” You crossed your arms, a smile playing on your features as you walked the sidewalk. “For ruining my movie and almost ruining my shirt.”

 

“an apology?” The skeleton laughed. “you ran into me, doll. besides, if you hadn’t, you wouldn’t have been able to sit next to me and listen to my  _ terrific  _ humor.”

 

“Your right! How could I have been so blind!” Oh gasped in mock surprise, lifting two fingers and turning to him. “I should get  _ two  _ apologies for that!”

 

The skeleton laughed again, raking a hand over his face before his eyelights rolled back to you with amusement. “hahahehe! you’re a weird one, sweetcheeks-”

 

But before your conversation could continue any further, a sharp voice interrupted your fun. “Hey! You!”

 

You jumped at this, turning around only to see a striped scarf wearing monster stomp towards you. “Uh, yes?” You asked.

 

“You  _ ruined _ the entire movie for me and my girlfriend!” You flinched at his tone. “You were laughing the entire time! What was so funny that you had to  _ ruin _ it for the rest of us!?”

 

“Oh, geez...” You scratched the back of your head. “Sorry, man.... I really didn’t mean to upset-”

 

“You didn’t mean to upset me?!” He continued you to rampage, hurting your ears. You winced at this, casually rubbing your now sore ears. “ _ Are you even listening to me?! _ ”

 

“oy. back off, buddy.” You were surprised to see the skeleton standing up for you. He didn’t seem the type. “she said she was sorry, so she’s sorry. do you need a written apology?”

 

This only seemed to enrage the monster further, “And who are you?! Were you the one who was whispering to her the entire time?! I bet you think your a funny guy, don’t you!? Well, you’re not funny! You’re just a nobody who decided to jerk around the entire movie and ruin it for the rest of us!”

 

At this, the skeleton’s eyelights went out. How curious? But before you could react, the skeleton’s features melted into calm expression.

 

“sweetheart...” He said, cooly, his sharp teeth smoothing into a relaxed smile. “why don’t you take a couple steps back while I talk some sense into this guy?”

 

You did as he asked. Despite his calm attitude, you felt even more unnerved by his coolness than if he were to get mad.

 

“Hey! Don’t talk to me like-!!” The monster promptly paled when the skeleton grabbed a hold of his arm and started dragging him behind the corner of a building. “What?! Let go of me!!”

 

You leaned forward a bit, trying to hear what was going on, but did not dare to move from your spot.

 

“What the heck, man?!” The monster’s biting voice shrilled. “What do you think you’re- !!”

 

_ THWACK! _

 

After a couple of seconds, the skeleton returned, his relaxed grin still in place.

 

“...What was that?” You eyed him, suspiciously.

 

“eh, i just gave him a little talkin’ too, s’all.” He shrugged. “i’d drop it, doll.”

 

“But that didn’t sound like-”

 

“i said  _ drop it _ , doll.”

 

You scrunched your face up, annoyed at his display of dominance, before leaning down to his eye level. He gave you an unamused expression, before you voiced, “Are you sure you didn’t... rattle his  _ bones _ ?”

 

He looked at you shocked for a second, before he erupted with laughter. 

 

You smiled, straightening. “ _ Tibia _ honest, it was a bit worrying. Didn’t think you’d make it out alive, but then I remembered you weren’t alive to begin with.”

 

“hahahaha! heheheh-! oh my stars, kid,  _ you’re an idiot!” _

 

“It’s only fair that I ruin your bad bones moment, since you ruined my movie!” You laughed with him.

 

Just as your skeletal friend had finished laughing, you had reached your car. You wondered why he followed you all the way over here, but didn’t put too much thought into it.

 

“Welp, this is my stop.” You leaned on your car. “So do you have a name, your are you just going to be that one guy who ruined the ArachnaMan movie for me?”

 

The skeleton wiped a nonexistent tear from his eye. “hehe... it’s sans. sans the skeleton.”

 

“Really? I thought you were a horse.”

 

“shut up, sweetheart.” He said, light heartedly. “you haven’t even given me yours.”

 

“It’s...” You took a second to think, before you pulled out a pen and paper out of your bag. Sans looked to you, curiously, before you handed him the piece of paper. “Y/n. You should call me sometime. Maybe you can ruin a couple more movies for me.”

 

To your surprise, Sans seemed to literally  _ change color  _ at this. What a strange and soft shade of scarlet. “ah -heheh-... sure, uh, sure thing, doll.”

 

You snorted at this, “What, no witty comment? You leave me disappointed, Sans!”

 

Sans replied by showcasing his ever so sharp teeth in a wide grin and said, “well, i can’t blow all my good jokes in one day.”

**Author's Note:**

> Who's your favorite superhero? Mine's Thor! I know alot of people like his brother and honestly Loki's usually more of my type, but I like Thor the best <3


End file.
